Sniff a Skunk! Read online

  Stinkball turned around and lifted her tail.

  A horrible smell filled the air.

  Jillian plugged her nose and jumped up and down. “It worked! It worked!”

  “Actually,” I said, “that was me.”

  Jillian sighed. “Stinkball learned everything but the most important part.”

  “Turn around and make a stinky,” I said to the skunk.

  Stinkball turned around and lifted her tail, but nothing came out.

  “She doesn’t get it,” I said.

  “Turn and spray,” Jillian said.

  Stinkball looked clueless.

  “Let it rip,” I said.

  Stinkball lifted her tail. Finally … Psst … A smell came out. It wasn’t much, but it was a little stinky.

  “That’s it!” I jumped up and down.

  “You got it,” Jillian said.

  “You made a little stinky. You made a little stinky!” I sang, and danced around.

  Stinkball grinned from ear to ear.

  Ready … Aim … Psssssst!

  “Hee-hee-hee.”

  We looked up.

  That mean squirrel was back! He was perched on a tree limb, holding a handful of nuts.

  “Here’s your chance,” Jillian said to our skunk friend.

  Stinkball looked at us. She was scared.

  “You can do it,” I whispered.

  Jillian nodded. “You have to try!”

  We hid behind a tree.

  “We’ll be right here,” I whispered. “We’ll talk you through it. Don’t worry.”

  The squirrel looked at Stinkball with a gleam in his eyes and let one fly.

  Plunk!

  Stinkball ducked, and the nut missed.

  “Come on, Stinkball,” I said. “You have to stand up and be a skunk. Remember: ‘Stomp your feet. Raise your tail. You got moves. You will not fail.’ ”

  Stinkball looked at me. Then she looked at the squirrel.

  “Hee-hee-hee,” said the squirrel. He picked up another nut and was about to throw it.

  Whomp. Whomp. Whomp.

  Stinkball stomped her feet.

  Whomp. Whomp. Whomp.

  “Look!” Jillian said. “She’s starting to defend herself.”

  Stinkball raised her tail.

  The squirrel just laughed.

  Another nut came flying. Zoom … plunk!

  It hit poor Stinkball right on her bootie. Stinkball looked at us again.

  “ ‘Don’t be scared. Don’t be blinky. Turn around and make a stinky,’ ” I whispered.

  Stinkball turned around and lifted her tail. Nothing happened.

  “Hee-hee-hee.” The squirrel wound up for the pitch.

  “Let it rip, Stinkball!” I cheered.

  Stinkball lifted her tail higher and … pssst … It wasn’t a huge stink, but it was bigger than the last one. The spray hit that squirrel in the face. He dropped the nuts and ran.

  “Go, Stinkball!” We cheered.

  We were all jumping and cheering. Then Jillian stopped. She had an idea. I could tell by the gleam in her eyes.

  “We could use Stinkball to help us stop the robbery,” she said. “We could get Stinkball to hide by our front door. When Mom and Dad come out to go to the hospital, Stinkball can spray them.”

  “Great idea,” I said. “But it’s got to be a big, bad smell. Then they won’t be able to go anywhere. If they tried to rob a place, the police would be able to follow their scent.”

  I turned to Stinkball. “We have a job for you. It might be dangerous. Are you in?”

  Stinkball flexed her muscles.

  We laughed.

  She jumped up and down. She was excited to help us.

  “All this is making me hungry. Let’s celebrate with lunch,” I said.

  We made sandwiches and brought them outside to eat.

  “Stinkball, eat up!” I said. “We have a big job tonight. You need your strength.”

  Stinkball looked at me.

  “I think she needs one more bug-eating lesson,” Jillian said.

  “Great.” I rolled my eyes.

  After watching me catch a bunch of bugs, Stinkball finally got the idea.

  A juicy bug appeared. Stinkball caught it and chomped down on that bug. She smiled.

  I helped her! That warm, wonderful feeling filled me again.

  “You did a good job teaching her,” Jillian said. “It must feel good.”

  “It will feel even better now that I can stop eating bugs,” I said. “Blech!”

  Sneaking Out

  After lunch, we told Stinkball to take a nap.

  We went inside. Our parents were still napping.

  I yawned. “I think I’ll take a snooze, too.”

  Jillian poked me. “No. We have too much to do. I am going to invent special goggles and headsets for us. Stinkball’s goggles will have a built-in video camera, and ours will have built-in miniscreens. That way we can see whatever she sees. I’ll add headphones with walkie-talkie microphones so we can tell Stinkball what to do. After we put her by the front door, we can go back up to our rooms. We can give her the command to spray from there. Ron and Tanya will never guess we did it.”

  “Cool! What should I do?”

  “Spy on Mom and Dad. If they wake up, keep them busy until I’m done.”

  Here’s what Jillian did:

  Here’s what I did:

  Jillian poked me again. “It’s late,” she whispered. “You fell asleep. You should have been spying.”

  Suddenly, we heard our parents talking. We put our ears against their bedroom door.

  “Let’s bring the kids. We can show them how it’s done.”

  “No,” Mom said. “They’ve been acting strange lately. They might mess it up. Let’s wait till they’re asleep and then go out.”

  The door opened, and we both tumbled in.

  “Hello, Mumsy and Popsy,” I said. “We were just coming in to ask what’s for dinner.”

  “We’re hungry,” Jillian said.

  “Yeah, and I’m tired of eating bugs.”

  Dad laughed. He thought I was joking.

  After dinner, we told our parents we wanted to go to bed early. We put pillows in our beds and wigs on our pillows to make it look like we were sleeping. Then we tiptoed down the hall. We had to put the headset on Stinkball, show her where to wait, and then get back up to our room without being caught.

  Our parents were downstairs in the living room watching their favorite TV show: The World’s Greatest Criminals.

  “Wait!” I whispered. “I forgot my Bootie Booster.”

  “We don’t have time!” Jillian pulled me down the stairs.

  Tip … tip … urrr.

  We froze.

  “Hard to be sneaky when floors are creaky,” I whispered.

  “Shh!” she whispered.

  We made it out the door. We ran around to the backyard.

  “Stinkball?” I whispered.

  No Stinkball.

  What if the squirrel had come and chased Stinkball away? What if a mean dog had come and decided to use Stinkball as a chew toy?

  The bush next to the house rustled. A small black shape crawled out.

  Stinkball!

  Jillian helped us into all our gear. We looked awesome.

  I pulled out a picture of our parents. “These are our parents, Ron and Tanya Crook,” I told Stinkball. “When you see them, spray them!”

  She turned around and lifted her tail.

  “No! Don’t spray the picture. Wait until we give you the cue. Don’t spray until we say so. Okay?”

  Stinkball nodded.

  “Positions!” Jillian said.

  I showed Stinkball where to wait by the door.

  “We’re going back inside, Stinkball,” Jillian said. “Wait for our cue.”

  We were about to open the door when we heard our parents’ voices. Ron and Tanya were coming out. Oh, no! They must have seen that we were sleeping and decided to leave early.r />
  We ducked into the shadow behind the door and peeked.

  They stepped out, dressed in their doctor disguises again. If we told Stinkball to spray, our parents would hear us. We didn’t move.

  Stinkball froze, too.

  Our parents hopped in the car and pulled out.

  They were going to rob the gift shop. We had missed our chance!

  Faster than a Speeding Wheelchair

  “Now what?” I asked Jillian.

  “We have to get there fast,” she said.

  “But they’re driving. They’ll be done with the job before we can even make it there.”

  Jillian laughed. “Billy, Billy, Billy. You should know me better than that.” She ran to the garage and pulled out another invention: a wheelchair outfitted with jetpacks. “Nobody will notice if we have a wheelchair outside the hospital. Hop on, Billy boy! We’ll get them before they go into the hospital.”

  “Woohoo!” I yelled. “But wait! What about Stinkball? Skunks can’t run fast, remember?”

  She grabbed my skateboard and attached it to the back of the wheelchair with a rope. “Hop on, Stinkball.”

  Jillian stepped onto the back rung of the wheelchair and pushed the buttons to start the jetpacks. Vrooom!

  We were off! Jillian was standing on the back. Stinkball was zooming along behind us on her board. I had the front-row seat. Wheee!

  We sped over speed bumps, popped wheelies past trees, and curled around curves. We went so fast, even the bugs couldn’t get out of our way. I sucked at least five or six right up my nose!

  “Stinkball!” I shouted. “Open your mouth, and dessert will fly right in!”

  Stinkball opened her mouth. Bugs flew in! She gave me a paw thumbs-up.

  When we got to the hospital driveway, Jillian slowed to a stop.

  “Woohoo!” I jumped out and danced around. “Let’s do that again!”

  “Get back in the chair,” Jillian whispered. “We have to stay quiet.”

  I sat down, and Jillian pushed me behind a big tree on the side of the hospital. Two windows looked right into the gift shop. From there we could see the shop and also see the front entrance of the hospital.

  “Okay, Stinkball,” Jillian said. “Just wait by the front door. When Ron and Tanya come, spray them.”

  “You can do it,” I said. “We’ll talk you through it.”

  Stinkball nodded. She hid in the shadow by the front door.

  A taxi pulled into the hospital parking lot. A man got out.

  Stinkball raised her tail.

  “Not this guy, Stinkball!” I said into the headset microphone

  She let the guy walk in.

  “Nice. You really know how to follow—” I was going to say follow orders. But as soon as I said “follow,” Stinkball followed the guy inside.

  “No! Come back!” Jillian said.

  Stinkball turned around, but the door closed. She was stuck inside.

  “Stay right there,” Jillian said. “Don’t move.”

  Jillian switched on the miniscreens in front of our goggles. We could see Stinkball’s view. She was hiding just inside the front door. A van pulled up.

  “Oh, no!” Jillian said. “Look!”

  A pest-control van. A big guy carrying a box hopped out of the van.

  The guy was going to set out mousetraps! What if Stinkball got caught in a trap? I had to stop him.

  I jumped up and whipped off my headset.

  “Where are you going?” Jillian said.

  I ran up to the guy. “Hey.” I started waving my arms. “I just saw a mouse! It was huge. It was this big.” I held my arms out. “It had big old nasty teeth. Over here! Follow me!”

  The guy followed me around to the back of the hospital.

  I made sure he was busy back there. Then I ran back to Jillian.

  “Okay, Stinkball,” Jillian said into her headset microphone. “New plan. You’re going to wait by the door to the gift shop. When Ron and Tanya Crook come in, spray them.”

  “I’ll run and hold the door open for you,” I said. “So leave as soon as you spray. This is going to work. Got it?”

  Stinkball nodded.

  Jillian and I crossed our fingers.

  Bear Hugs!

  Stinkball was waiting.

  We kept one eye on her view through the headset and one eye on the parking lot. As soon as our parents pulled up, we had to be ready to give Stinkball the cue.

  Through Stinkball’s view, we could see a mom and a little girl get off the elevator and walk toward the gift shop entrance. They didn’t even see Stinkball hiding in the shadows by the front door.

  “Good, Stinkball. Just stay frozen,” Jillian said.

  The little girl had a pink cast on her foot.

  We could see and hear the whole thing through Stinkball’s headset.

  “You can pick out anything you want, Carrie!” the mother said. “You’ve been such a brave girl.”

  “Oooh,” I said. “Get some candy.”

  Stinkball must have thought I was talking to her. That skunk started walking into the store. She headed toward the candy at the cash register.

  “No, Stinkball! Someone will see you.”

  Stinkball jumped to the side and bumped into a basket of stuffed animals. The basket tipped over, and a teddy bear fell out. The bear was wearing blue jeans, a T-shirt, and sunglasses. He was posed so he was showing off a heart tattoo on his bear bicep.

  Stinkball stopped and gasped.

  “Go back to the doorway, Stinkball!”

  Stinkball couldn’t take her eyes off the bear. She waved at him. He didn’t wave back.

  “Oh, no! I think she likes the bear dude!” I said.

  “Stinkball, keep moving!” Jillian said.

  We peeked into the gift shop window to get a better view of what was happening.

  Stinkball was trying to get the bear’s attention. She flexed her muscles. She twirled around. She tried some dance moves.

  “We can see you through the window. Stop it,” Jillian said into the headset microphone. “Someone will see you.”

  “He isn’t the guy for you, Stinkball,” I added. “Trust me! He’s going to break your heart.”

  Stinkball pulled the bear’s sunglasses down and looked deeply into his eyes. There was a little reflection of herself in his eyes. She smiled.

  A car pulled up.

  It was our parents!

  “Go back to the doorway, Stinkball! They’re coming!”

  Our parents got out and started walking toward the door.

  They were going to be there any minute.

  “Stinkball, go!” Jillian said.

  Stinkball gave the bear a hug. She nuzzled up to him and put her head on his shoulder.

  “Mommy, look at that cute stuffed animal!” The little girl in the shop ran over.

  “Stinkball, freeze!” I said.

  Stinkball froze.

  “Aw, she’s so cute,” the girl said. “I want her.”

  “The skunk?” the mom asked. “Are you sure?”

  “I love her!”

  The mom picked Stinkball up by the tail and brought her to the cash register.

  Oh, no!

  “Ha. I didn’t think I had any teddy skunks! That’ll be twelve dollars, please.” Mr. Packard said. He put Stinkball in a paper shopping bag and tied a ribbon on the handles. He handed the shopping bag to the little girl.

  Stinkball had been sold!

  Zoom!

  Our parents walked into the hospital.

  “I’m coming in,” I said to Stinkball. “I repeat: I’m coming in.”

  “What are you going to do, Billy?” Jillian asked.

  “I have to try something!” I hopped in the wheelchair and zoomed into the hospital.

  Our parents were right in front of me. They walked into the gift shop. They stopped to talk to the little girl and the mom.

  “That’s a nice-looking cast,” Mom said in a sweet voice. “How did you break your leg?”
While she was talking, I saw Dad steal the woman’s wallet from her purse. He slipped her wallet into his back pocket. I had to stop them!

  “She was a brave girl,” the mom said. “She didn’t even cry.”

  I took a left and zoomed into the bathroom. I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and made a quick disguise.

  Time for a ninja move! I zoomed into the gift shop and headed straight for the little girl.

  The mom screamed and pulled the girl away. I grabbed the bag out of the girl’s hand and tore it open. Stinkball rolled out and landed in a handstand and then jumped into a ninja pose.

  Everyone screamed.

  Dad and Mom jumped back. “What—?”

  Stinkball looked at me. I nodded.

  She twirled around, lifted her tail, and … Pssssssssssssssssssssssssst!

  She sprayed all over Mom’s and Dad’s knees and shoes.

  Perfect aim! It wasn’t the biggest stink, but it was big enough.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Mom said. They both ran out of the store, taking the stink with them.

  Mr. Packard, the mom, and the little girl looked at me.

  I handed over the mom’s wallet. I had picked it from my dad’s pocket on the way in. “I believe this is yours,” I said.

  Stinkball hopped on the back of the wheelchair, and we zoomed out.

  Wheeeee!

  The Grand Finale

  Jillian came running out of the shadows to meet us. She whipped off her headset. “Wow! That was amazing! Great job!”

  I bowed. “Couldn’t have done it without Stinkball.”

  Stinkball bowed.

  “And you did an awesome job with all your inventions, Jillian.” I patted my sister on the back.

  Just then a security guard came walking toward us. He had the pest-control guy with him! The guy had a box of traps.

  “Stinkball, hide!”

  Stinkball scampered under the wheelchair. Jillian pulled her cap down low to hide her face.

  “Hi,” the guard said, “We heard there was a skunk around here.”